Psalm of My Heart

How infinite You are. On a windy day, I feel Your breath on my face. Your logic for reason is incomprehensible, and so it is an honor to simply trust in You. From morning to night a never-ending service is held in Your highest regard, shining as bright as the sun, and sounding as clear as chimes of silver on a blustery day. I find joy in obeying Your commands. Your statutes give me great pleasure. Please let me love You my love, my God. I am free, only bound by the chains You have given me, Your slave. You are Healer, Yahweh, Anointed, Perfection. The embodiment of embodiment. Mighty and all-powerful are You, Most High! Your art is sacred. You’ve made all things with purpose. The universe to show us the limitless expanse of your imagination. The atom to reveal that great things can have small beginnings. Water to express that there is strength in unity. So how can we say how great You are?! It is impossible! One hundred percent of the time, human words succeed to fail in revering You properly. All the while, that truthful inability lies within the grasp of worshiping through living. So much You have done for me, in plain sight and behind closed doors. Your incessant influence paves my way and lights my darkness, and I search for ways to repay you, thank you, serve you. My God, on the altar is a sacrifice–a gift–given not out of persuasion, but of free will. I arduously seek a personal audience with You, only to kiss Your cheek, hug Your neck, and lie in Your arms, yet I can’t even look at the face of my Father. I’d welcome death, if I could only sneak a peek. Face of Love, show me love, teach me love. My heart swoons over You. Your vessel desires Your intimate affection within my spirit. Come. Dwell here with me. Let Your temple be purified by fire, and prepared for Your tenancy. I am the bride, designed to be wedded. My dowry is Your presence, and the gift is my soul. My Lover, my ever most precious Lover…make me Yours for all eternity. Let us never be apart, not even for a second. Let me love You forever. Our love will endure throughout the timeless moments of infinity. I will not complain about Your love, and I will not grow tired of Your company. My destiny lies within the comfort of Your smile, and the sound of Your beating heart, yearning for me just the same. I love you, I love you–my Love, my God–I love you.

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The Fleeting Phenomenon

From time to time, usually within the months of September and October, I experience the revival of a fond haunting; the ghost of a dormant happiness, longing to be alive. Autumn…brings about a magic, something that transcends the barriers that segregate the past and the present. It seems to have an air about it. The wind, seasoned with memories, pieces together enchanting fragments of my timeline…and I remember the simplicity and enjoyment of my childhood, adolescence, and seasons that still stir my heart. I see what I saw then. I feel what I felt then…like feeling the warmth of a flame that had long been put out.

I am always tempted to hold on to these crests of past delights. I realize that fear had convinced me that my greatest moments of happiness are gone, and that the only way I could ever feel anything even close to that euphoria, is to think back and re-savor the moments. Though I do that sometimes, I do understand that times change, and with change comes new joys. These joys are going to feel different from joys of the past. I think it’s important that they do. It shows us that joy has many different faces. As deep as God is, so are His fruits, and so I’ve begun expecting the things my mind cannot conjure. Happiness and joy, far greater than what we’ve experienced as of yet, wait for anyone who believes. So whenever I smell Autumn’s presence, whenever I gaze at the starry firmament through the cold, night air, whenever I watch a perfectly blue sky change into shades of pink and purity, whenever I become stricken with a love that binds my heart…I will have hope. And that hope, will enlighten my spirit, until I–once again–feel happiness.

Understand the Passion

I would like to begin…by sharing my heart, a healthy level of vulnerability that’s meant to keep our dreams alive.  Whether of the past or of the present, aspirations have a tendency to always be relevant, revealing a part of ourselves to our conscious mind.

I can truly say…that the greatest emprise I have ever experienced, to this day–though only a mere twenty-nine years of age–was being in love.  The momentum of my timeline spurs onward into every desire God has given me, but my hindsight delights in every moment that love has flourished in vivid, halcyonic prosperity.  Human consciousness acknowledges that place as the zenith of subsolar existence, a plane where beauty persistently blossoms with the rise of each passing heartbeat. There resides the divine expression of God, a truth that shames every travesty.
Love defies all logic, and silences the prosaic, nonsensical blasphemies of any non-believer. They do not believe because they do not understand. If you believe only in what you understand, then you forsake the very purpose of faith, and thereby condemn yourself to the mundane.
But if you believe in love, then you believe on a completely new realm of possibility. You believe in dreams, fantasy, and magic–the realm of imagination. Just because one’s desires or ideals exist only in their imagination, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. It obviously exists, otherwise it wouldn’t be present at all. The greatest, most life-changing inventions and ideas all began in the realm of imagination, the place where most deemed foolish and irresponsible, pointless and childish. Nonetheless, contrary to popular belief, the imagination is the breeding ground for prominence, and the well that happy endings draw from.
Love is an enigma, drawing from this same well, also identified as a complex web of internal notions birthing external results. It is the diadem of humanity, and the meaning of life. In love there is found a docile exhilaration…comparable to a snowy day, where your hands are cold, but your heart is flushed with a feverish passion, deriving from what seems to be a bottomless ocean of sentimental endearment. Intellectually, love is a formula, composed of two burning, velveteen hearts, a variety of chemical additives in the brain, and a single, yet potent drop of divinity. Watching love unfold, floods our eyes with mirth, a reality that must come to past, for the sake of our unfulfilled desires. In being denizens of pleasure, it’s only right that romance find its way into the arms of both man and woman, boding the unification of two unique people into one distinct couple. Two, the most intimate of values, second only to the noble, yet less-desired One.  But wouldn’t two be more intimate than even one, being that two is a one-on-one affair, one person to another, and no one else?  Yet the most intimate of instances is when two BECOME one, a mesh of explicit purity, arrayed in the flashing colors of crimson and scarlet love.  Where one blesses the night with all the love they can muster, and two are reborn into one grand cluster. A moment where your body blazes with fear and fantasy, the only place on earth of astral significance.
A delightful muse, love is, stealing all of our hopes, and converging them under one canopy of ambitious cognizance. Like a siren’s song, so it entices mankind to pursue the height of his design, a bewitching power whose influence pervades every generation, penetrates every era, and permeates every age, until the day when love becomes the way of the new world, and man’s divine potential is at last fulfilled.