From time to time, usually within the months of September and October, I experience the revival of a fond haunting; the ghost of a dormant happiness, longing to be alive. Autumn…brings about a magic, something that transcends the barriers that segregate the past and the present. It seems to have an air about it. The wind, seasoned with memories, pieces together enchanting fragments of my timeline…and I remember the simplicity and enjoyment of my childhood, adolescence, and seasons that still stir my heart. I see what I saw then. I feel what I felt then…like feeling the warmth of a flame that had long been put out.
I am always tempted to hold on to these crests of past delights. I realize that fear had convinced me that my greatest moments of happiness are gone, and that the only way I could ever feel anything even close to that euphoria, is to think back and re-savor the moments. Though I do that sometimes, I do understand that times change, and with change comes new joys. These joys are going to feel different from joys of the past. I think it’s important that they do. It shows us that joy has many different faces. As deep as God is, so are His fruits, and so I’ve begun expecting the things my mind cannot conjure. Happiness and joy, far greater than what we’ve experienced as of yet, wait for anyone who believes. So whenever I smell Autumn’s presence, whenever I gaze at the starry firmament through the cold, night air, whenever I watch a perfectly blue sky change into shades of pink and purity, whenever I become stricken with a love that binds my heart…I will have hope. And that hope, will enlighten my spirit, until I–once again–feel happiness.